March 2012
21 posts
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Please refrain from flirting with me behind your man. It is always the ones who are apparently in love who do this. Funny how some girls, “good girls”, seek attention.
February 2012
37 posts
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I made it to a little place where I thought I would be happy to be in but I despise it as I cannot afford look back. The past soothes and widens the pain like a knife would to willing flesh. I hit a dead end and I find it hard to trace my steps in darkness. My heart aches, but my composure stands.
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It is odd how I cared so dearly about your shit and your feelings included, but I, too, have a receiving end and as I threw myself out there to help you compose yourself I didn’t get a single trace of anything in return. Your most generous deed was wasting my time.
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Girl With Red Hair
Finished cooking breakfast for the girl with abstract red hair. Crispy golden hash browns, slice and diced hot dogs, with two sunny side up eggs on top. As she soon as she’s done she heads to work, and I prepare a cup of coffee and head out to the balcony for a smoke, watching her impatience run low at the convenient bus stop as she frequently glances ahead of the road for any signs of the...
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Next Time
Our auras familiarized with each other while chemistry combined them into something we both comfortably vibed to. Displaying affection type X and O’s with my words, each second feeling longer than it is. Cherishing the moments and forming memories into one of many mementos stored in my heart so I can play and rewind the scenes when I close my eyes over and over, mind-made recorded cassette tapes....
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You’re strong. It hurts to be that strong, doesn’t it? You can cry if you want. You try to stay strong and put on an act, but your heart is hurting. Your whole being hurts. Hurts.. Does it also hurt to cry?
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I begin to realize that gaining knowledge of the world does not depress me, at all. I pushed myself to my own downfall. I let myself destroy myself And I’m just here, faith licking my wounds, of ...
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Walt Disney vs original fairy tales
How did I not find out that the original stories were not made by Walter Elias? Original Fairy Tales:
Sleeping Beauty was not awakened by a kiss. She awoke to find herself a victim of rape and a mother of two children, one sucking on the flax on her finger that kept her asleep. Oh! Guess who raped her.. Her father.
Ariel, the little mermaid, witnesses the prince marry a princess and she was...
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Re-occurring accidents
When I was falling I jumped in head first, and it caused a psychological and emotional pain that I have been suffering from whenever we intertwined both of our separate lives. I should not have omitted my past lessons. What in the world was I thinking that failed me to land on my feet before anything else? Different girl, same feelings. Another mistake by the same fool. Rewind, replay, regret,...
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Rain
Pain is nothing, I’ve been alone. The rain is coming so I’m prepared to feel it on my own. I’m gone like the wind that breathes into your neck before I leave without a sign as I burst through the leaves. Man, this is like a curse if you can see it, and I can see why God gifts it to insignificant human beings. Adversities went from external to internal and I eat, breathe, and...
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Declining Investment
The efforts put forth were without a doubt only one-sided that concluded to unwanted and least desired outcomes. I am a risk-averse individual who invested in time outside of his own zone of comfort, inviting another into his very own portfolio that contains contents not everyone should know. But every ounce of effort I put forth into the investment of our relationship should have been returned...
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Fake it til you make it
I keep hearing the phrase “fake it til you make it”, but what is the meaning of it? Do I conceal truth from anyone that applies to this phrase until something you expect to happen actually comes true? Is it hope for better days until you can hope no more? What does it really mean? To put on a fabricated mask before your peers until you are safe to take it off? Even though I have been applying it I...
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Texting
She: Late reply! Sorry! I was busy with my family yesterday.
Me: Do you mean you're sorry for ignoring me?
She: That sounds horrible! But in a way correct? Anyways! What're you saying?
Me: brb
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A family member of mine passed away today. I am trying to find the sadness that I barely feel deep inside and between the lines I write but it is nothing but curves and straight lines that portrays how I feel, which is difficult for me to understand. A part of me wants to break things of no value, another part of me refuses to comfort and be comforted, and the rest of me drowns in emptiness. I...
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I cannot spend time with you, I don’t know how to. I’m still someone I haven’t accepted yet so how do you expect me to give? Handsome remarks and how it doesn’t make sense that I’ve been single for a few years doesn’t matter to me, I just don’t know how to be with anyone right now. I’m too detached that being with or without people no longer stirs my ego. If you can fall in love with a ghost then...
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too-fasttolivetooyoungtodie asked: Your blog, I cannot believe how much I can relate to it. It's so crazy, and I thank you for so much. Such an inspiring writer. Keep it up. I am looking forward to more.
“I’m about to lose my composure. I’m gettin’ close to packin’ up and leavin’...”
– Tupac (via wiggidywhack)
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Apologies
Don’t apologize to me, apologies no longer relieves a dead past. What matters most is today and our actions that contributes to tomorrows, not yesterdays. The past is a prison in my point of view, don’t throw me in there again.
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You became the type to lose interest in your surroundings. Nothing truly entertains you, if something does then it’s only a way to kill the time that you’re affording to waste, and at the end of the day you’ll carry on with your business and forget it happened. The only thing that leaves a mark is your own thoughts, no one can scratch the surface into your soul. You have to take...
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whitekittymilk asked: the blog that you recommended was perfect. i need to find more blogs that actually write stuff instead of reblogging > <
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mochisparkles asked: I've recently stumbled upon your blog and I love it. The font, the layout and your writings! ;-;
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Hopeless →
I stood there looking down on the world from the highest roof of this city. Against the wind, against the darkness shrouding my physical existence, against the heavy rain I thought not a single drop of care would stop me from enjoying the view. Umbrella in hand, cell phone on the other, and a cigarette to my mouth. My umbrella protects me against the rain that desperately tries to save this...
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I will never break down my walls for better relationships. I’ve been fine without it. It seems that once I open up, they’ll close theirs. Why be vulnerable to people who won’t do the same? My weaknesses are only for me to know.
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Tell me
It’s a tragedy to watch one physically dying. But what about mentally? When the mind is in distress, what would you call it? Mentally unstable? Crazy? Depression? Emo? By this, we can feel deep down that we’re prepared to undergo numerous deaths and pains. Is that worse than physical pain? It is not about being lucky we’re still alive cause some people can’t take it and they might end up...
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We’ll die some day, and our soul will takes its leave with nothing but a handful of memories. Knowing that it’s the only thing that can keep us alive in the underworld, I wonder if we carry on our regrets in the heavens.
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