There’s just so much noise in my head and I can’t seem to silence it.
Can I just eat good food with you and toss you around and be rough for one whole day?
To be separated from the cubs took a lot out of me. I took a turn towards the road less traveled in order to grow. Perhaps down the fork we can roam together again, but I’m aware it won’t ever be the same. I didn’t think any kind of sacrifice was even necessary until I started feeling uncomfortable in my usual day to day walk.
i have good news and bad news
So with the bad news, I’ve been creating a routine schedule for myself which included things like read, read again, work out, eat 6 times a day, and other things, but I have failed to meet my own expectations on the first day…. On the other hand, the good news is that I was complimented as the “asian james deen” (not by looks) so I have that going for me :3
One thing is that I’ll lose interest if you only text 2 to 4 times a week and can’t even keep up with a conversation. Second thing is that I’m an understandable guy and I can tolerate almost about anything. Just don’t get it confuse when I try and you don’t.
It was 4am. Mellow-type playlists were queued in 8tracks.com and we had switched the lights off for quite some time. I got up and sat on the edge of my bed, rested my forearms on my thighs, hands closed together, and stared right through the window 5 meters away from me while her eyes ran across the nearest walls and ceiling of my daily confinement.
We share each other’s pain in a convenient way. Our broken mindsets are far from ordinary, and we can easily tell who’s bullshitting about claiming such a statement. Love is not an option. Let me rephrase that… Love seems impossible for human beings who are built from the same foundation as us. She asked if I wanted kids and I said I would marry not for the sake of love but for the sake of having one— a chaotic path indeed. I heard unconditional love is only between a parent and their children. Then it became quiet between us while remixes of Meiko were put on rotation.
The one laying down behind me then positioned herself where her head hung from the edge of the bed, trying to figure out my re-occurring thoughts of hopes and nightmares. I placed my palm on the side of her face and traced her cheek bones with my thumb, and kept staring through the window with heaven and hell clashing in the back of my mind.
We both embraced the ongoing playlist at the time and stayed in this position for another hour.